Kahit Wag Kang Maniwala (midterm)

Kailan ba nagiging abnormal ang isang tao? Kapag ba ibang-iba ka na sa mga tao sa paligid mo? Kapag ba kabaligtaran ng naiisip mo ang naiisip ng karamihan? O kapag nararanasan mo ang mga kakaibang bagay na hindi lahat nakakaranas?

Madalas kong maisip na abnormal ako.

Tuwing gabi, madalas kong isipin ang mga bagay na nangyari sa akin sa buong araw. Napaka normal pero laging mayroong kakaiba, mga pangyayaring hindi pangkaraniwan at madalas ay nakakapagtaka. At sa sobrang nakakapagtaka ay halos nakakatakot na ito kung tutuusin.

Naniniwala ka ba sa multo? Ako? Oo.

Nuong bata pa ako mahilig akong making sa mga matatanda sa amin kapag nag-uusap sila tungkol sa mga multo at aswang. Ako naman itong batang mahilig sumabat sa usapan kaya napapagalitan. Gustong-gusto ko noong makakita ng kahit isang multo man lang tapos masaya na ako. Akala ko magiging masaya nga ako kapag nakakita ako ng isa pero hindi pala, natakot talaga ako. Nasa loob ako ng aming banyo noon, hindi ko na maalala kung ano ang ginagawa ko noon basta nasa banyo ako. Siguro ay nasa bandang alas-seis iyon ng hapon at medyo may kadiliman na rina ng paligid. Takot ako noon na isarado ang pinto dahil mahirap itong buksan                                

kaya iniiwan ko itong bukas. Tanging ang ilaw lamang ng salas naming ang buhay kaya naman medyo madilim pa rin. Nag-mumuni-muni ako noon nang bigla akong napatingin sa harap ko. Kinilabutan ako nang makita kong may parang dumaang pares na paa na may telang puti. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kaya naman tinawag ko ang ate ko ngunit hindi sya sumasagot. Naglalaro pala sa labas. Hindi ko noon alam kung paano ako lalabas dahil baka nasa pinto lang yung nakita ko. Halos isang oras din akong hindi umalis sa banyo. Iyon ang unang beses na nagkita ako ng multo. Mula noon natakot na talaga ako.

Akala ko ay iyon na ang una at huli kong makakakita noon pero hindi pala. Naulit pa ito ng madaming beses sa iba’t ibang lugar pa. Natatakot pa rin ako pero habang tumatagal ay parang nawawala na rin ang takot ko. Marahil ay nasanay na rin. Madalas ay sa kapag nasa paaralan ako duon ako nagkikita o nakakaramdam ng kakaibang bagay. Nang tumuntong ako ng hayskul, mas madami pa akong naranasang kakaiba.

Noong unang taon ko sa hayskul, ugali ko nang pumasok ng maaga. Madalas ay isa ako sa mga unang taong dumadating sa iskul bukod sa mga nagtitinda sa kantina. Lagi akong dumadaan sa hagdan sa gilid ng gusali. Katabi ng gusali naming ay ang kwarto ng tagabantay ng iskul, si Tito Tony, kaya naman lagi ko siyang nakakabatian. Nang minsang dumaan ako doon ay nakita ko ulit si Tito Tony ngunit nakakapagtaka kasi puting-puti ang suot nya. Karaniwan niyang suot ay patong-patong na kulay brown na damit. Hindi ko na lang pinansin at naglakad na ako. Laking gulat ko nang makita ko si Tito Tony na nasa kabilang silid namin at nag-aayos ng mga kable ng electric fan at naka itim syang damit. Naakot ako dahil sigurado naman akong siya yung nakita ko. Ngumiti pa nga ako sa kanya at ngumiti din sya sa akin. Pero hindi pala si Tito Tony yun. Sino kaya sya? 

Parehong taon, may namatay na isang estudyante sa paaralan naming. Kilala ko sya dahil madalas ko syang makita sa hagdan sa gilid ng gusali namin. Madalas din kasi ako doon.  Siya si JE. Medyo nalugkot din ako sa pagkamatay nya. Dati ay tuwing umaga makikita ko syang dali-daling umaakyat pataas sa ikalawang palapag para humabol sa flag ceremony. Alam ko ang kulay ng Dickies nyang bag. May pula, itim at dilaw. Nung umagang nabalitaan namin na patay na siya ay nagulat ako dahil nakita ko syang tumatakbo ulit patungo sa silid nila. Sigurado akong sya iyon dahil kilala ko talaga ang hitsura nya. Kinilabutan ako at naiyak dahil nagpakita sya sa akin. Inikwento ko ito sa mga kaklase ko at maging sila ay natakot.  Mula nung araw na iyon ay halos ayaw ko nang sumama sa flag ceremony namin.

Nang tumuntong ako sa ikatlong taon ng sekondarya, nakaranas ulit akong magkita ng kakaiba. Sumali ako sa isang training noon. Isa akong kadete, parang military. May hawak kaming ripple at parang mga sundalo. Dapat kaming pumasok ng maaga dahil kami ang naglilinis ng paligid at naghahanda ng lahat. Nag-uunahan kami ng aking mga kasama sa pagpunta sa iskul. Madalas naman akong mauna. Madaling araw pa lamang ay nanduon na ako dahil sa kagustuhan kong mauna. At tuwing nauuna ako, madalas ay nakikita ko ang isang lalaking estudyante na nakatayo sa gilid ng estatwa ng birhen sa loob ng iskul. Kita ko ang polong puti niya. Kung hindi naman yung lalaki ay babaeng nakaputi ang aking nakikita. Madalas syang naglalakad sa ikalawang palapag ng gusali na para bang namamasyal lamang. Tuwing makikita ko sila ay pumipikit na lamang ako at kumakanta kahit wala akong maisip kantahin. Madalas kong gawin iyon pero itinigil ko iyon nang maranasan kong sabayan akong kumanta ng kung sinong hindi ko nakikita. Kumakanta ako noon ng kanta mula sa “Moulin Rouge”. Humihimig lang ako nang napansin ko na parang may naririnig na rin akong sumasabay sa akin. Nagmula ang tunog sa loob ng iskul. Natakot ako at tumigil. Tumigil din yung tunog. Buti na lang at isang taon ko lamang kailangang pumasok ng ganoon kaaga dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya kung sakaling may kasunod pa.

Napakarami pang sumunod at hindi ko na ata maiikwento lahat iyon. Basta ang alam ko ay totoo ang mga multo at mga espirito sa ating paligid. Hindi nga lang talaga lahat nakakaramdam at nakakakita. Pakiramdam ko ang malas ko dahil isa ako sa mga nakakaramdam kahit ayaw ko talaga.

Hindi lang iyan ang kakaiba kong karanasan.

Naranasan niyo na bang nahulaan ang hinaharap o maisip ang susunod na mangyayari nang hindi inaasahan? Ako, oo.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tawag sa nararanasan ko pero gusto ko ito. Ito yung parang naisip ko lang saglit tapos nangyayari agad. Parang pakiramdam ko ay isa akong manghuhula. Una ko itong naranasan nang tumuntong ako sa kolehiyo.

 Unang beses ko naranasan ito nung minsan na pauwi ako ng bahay galing sa iskul. Sumakay ako ng dyip at naghintay na mapuno. Karaniwan na ito sa akin dahil araw-arwa ko naman itong ginagawa. Umandar ang dyip at nagsimulang tumakbo ang aking imahinasyon. Nakakabagot talaga ang byahe tuwing hapon. Mayroon akong katabing isang babae tapos isang lalaking naka-corporate na damit. Mukha syang nagtatrabaho sa isang opisina. Bigla na lang sinabi ng isip ko,”Biglang papara itong lalaking ito dahil mayroon siyang nakalimutan. Bababa sya kahit nakabayad na siya at medyo may kalayuan na ang aming narating.”  Makalipas ang ilang saglit, bigla nga itong pumara at nagsabing may nakalimutan sya at kailangan na nyang bumaba kahit pa kaaalis lamang ng dyip. Nagulat ako sa aking narinig dahil iyon mismo ang mga baga na naisip ko. Di ko alam ang magiging reaksyon dahil parang kinabahan ako na medyo natuwa. Ano bang nangyari? Bakit nagkatotoo?

Naulit ito nang maaksidente ang aking tito. Malaki ang galit n gaming pamilya sa kanya kaya naman maging ako ay halos isumpa na sya sa kailaliman ng mundo.  Nung araw na iyon, bigla naming napag-usapan an gaming tito. Nanggagalaiti ako sag alit kaya naman nakapagbitaw ako ng mg di magandang bagay sa kanya. Sabi ko pa noon, “Hayaan nyo. Madidisgrasya siya ngayon. Baka nga mabangga pa truck nila.” Normal na sa amin ang ganuong usapan kapag ang tungkol sa tito ko kaya naman hindi na nila pinansin iyong mga sinabi ko. Kinabukasan nagulat kaming lahat nang mabalitaan naming na naaksidente ang truck na minamaneho ng tito ko sa may Cavite at kasalukuyang nasa ospital siya. Pinagtinginan ako nina ate noon kasi nagkatotoo ang aking sinabi. Masama man pero natuwa ako sa nangyari. Karma nya iyon marahil.

Madami pang nangyari pero ang pinakahuli ay nung kami ay mag-swimming sa Lobo noong bakasyon.  Wala kaming dalang sasakyan kaya naman bumiyahe na lamang kami. Nung kami ay pauwi na, sa terminal ng dyip, hindi kami pasakayin ng drayber dahil daw malapit lamang an gaming bababaan. Nakakainis dahil gustong-gusto na naming umuwi.  Siyam kami kaya daw luging-lugi siya sa bayad. Ang sama na ng pakiramdam naming dahil napakainit. Umupo kami at tinabihan ako ng aking kaklase. Sinabi ko sa kanya na galit na galit na ako sa drayber. Maging sila naman ay galit din. Bigla ko na lang nasambit , “Makikita nyo, maaaksidente ang dyip na iyan. Kung hindi man ay masisiraan sila sa daan.” Umalis ang dyip at mabuti na lamang dahil pinasakay kami ng sumunod na byahe. Habang nasa byahe ay nawala na ang masama kong naiisip tungkol sa naunang drayber. Masaya kasi ang byahe.  Nang malapit na kaming bumaba ay biglang tumigil ang dyip sa tapat ng isang nakatigil sad yip. Nasiraan ito ng gulong kaya naman naantala ang kanyang biyahe. Nagulat ako nang makita ko na iyon pala yung dyip na kinagagalitan ko. Tuwan-tuwa naman ako sa aking nakita. Pagkababa namin, humanga sa akin ang aking mga kaklase dahil sa aking sinabi.

Hindi ko alam kung isa ba akong manghuhula o tsumatsamba lamang talaga ako. Minsan nga natatakot na akong magisip o magbitaw ng salita dahil baka bigla na lamang itong magkatotoo. Mahirap na, baka may masama pa lalong mangyari. Pero gusto kong malaman kung isa ba talaga itong abilidad o talento. Kung isa itong talent, lubos kong ikatutuwa ito at hahasain ko pa ang sarili ko. Kahit pa sabihin nilang hindi ito normal o may sayad ako.

Marahil ay madaming hindi maiintindihan ang mga nangyayari sa akin. Malamang pa nga ay iniisip nila na isa akong masamang tao o kaya naman ay alagad ng demonyo. Taliwas kasi ito sa paniniwala ng higit na nakakalamang na relihiyon dito, ang Katolisismo. Madaming magsasabing isa akong sinungaling pero hindi ko na iintindihin iyon dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na totoo ito. Masaya naman ito. Abnormal? Baliw? O kahit ano pang itawag nila sa akin, tatanggapin ko. Masaya naman ako sa nararanasan ko dahil hindi ito pangkaraniwan. Pili lamang talaga marahil kaming may ganitong kakayahan.

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Lucky Me :3

I never felt too lucky in games of luck. I was always the hopeful one, crossing all my fingers thinking that my fingers would be able to manipulate the results. But I was always the wrong one. Wrong choice. Wrong instinct. Wrong timing. But not with TICKETS, specifically CONCERT TICKETS.

Event #1--Myx Mo 2009/2010

This annual event of the MYX music channel is one of my most anticipated events of the year. I always wait for updates about this event together with my friends who are also music lovers. Whenever this event is approaching I always tell myself that I am going to save money so I can buy tickets. But I never managed to save enough money. I know I am not so good in budgeting that's why I usually have problems with money. But things are favoring me whenever the event is getting near. I usually don't expect my mom to give me money for it but she did. So I was able to go to Manila and attend the event. But our usual problem was the ticket buying. Last 2009, it was like we were in Amazing Race. The tickets can only be bought in one store inside SM Mall of Asia. We all know how big MOA is. We ran as fast as we could because everyone else wanted to buy a VIP ticket. I almost dropped my heart and lungs while running. We've ran from building to building hoping that we'll find the store before anyone else does. Luckily, we found the store and we were able to buy the VIP tickets. All the hustle and bustle were all worth it because after buying the ticket, we got a chance to be in the very front line, so near to the stage. It was like a paradise in front of us though we were like sardines fried in hell.I was able to watch my idols live on stage. It was like I was dreaming and that they were performing just for me, only for me. That night I really felt so lucky despite of all the unfortunate events we had on our way.

Nash, Kean and I after Myx Mo event

Event#2-- Jack Daniel's the JD Set Reveal Night (April 15, 2011)

I consider that night as the luckiest night of my entire life. It wasn't just a simple gig watching but that night I was able to mingle with all the musicians in the event. It felt more like heaven though my legs were dying. I was the lucky girl who won the tickets for the exclusive show. I never expected that I'll be able to win invites for the show. I was just surfing the net and BOOM! I saw this event on the Facebook page. My favorite band was on the list that was why I eagerly joined the contests. There were 3 contests that I joined. The first one was a "photo-tagging contest" wherein I have to tag a certain number of friends in the photo and send the link to them. The second one was conducted by the fan page's admin, I have to rank my top 7 bands on their wall. The third one was conducted by the band Blue Boy Bites Back. They asked what our favorite song from their album was so I answered it (though I am not a very big fan of the band). Unexpectedly, I won on the second one and I got a ticket for two. I jumped my butt off my chair when I read a message from the page's admin. I was insanely telling myself, " OMFG! I won!! I have to be there!"  My mom who was right beside me was like startled with my actions. She said that I am over reacting. If I know, if that was a ticket for Piolo Pascual's concert, she'd probably be screaming her lungs out. I grabbed my phone and tried to contact my cousin Japz. He was the only one I wanted to come with and I was pretty sure that he knows the place. The day came and I was so excited that I even arrived to our meeting place an hour ahead. When he came we started our adventure. I thought he knew the venue but I was wrong! He didn't know the place either. So we started walking and tried looking for the place. And there we were, walking for almost two hours. We almost zipped the road of the entire Pasong Tamo until the Pasong Tamo Extension. We got it all wrong. We wallked the wrong way. We thought the venue was a bar but it was not. It was like a warehouse turned into a function hall. We both felt too stupid. We arrived just in time before the deadline. I felt relieved when I got the tickets.

Me, held captive by Mr. Bones

But what amazed me the most was I realized that I was surrounded by my idols, the musicians I look up to. They were just there beside us chatting, laughing and they were smiling at me whenever our eyes met. Then I just found myself actually chatting with them. it was as if we were good friends already. We were talking about music, the pizza, the Jack Daniel's, the Hurley-Davidson and everything else. The event started and I was so starstrucked when I found myself in a pool of artists. They were also there to watch the event and support the bands. Luckily, I was able to occupy the very front of the stage, as in I can almost grab their feet if I could. I was singing to the top of my lungs just like everyone else beside me. After the bands, we decided to go out to have some fresh air. Outside we saw my favorite band, Mr. Bones and the Boneyard Circus. We tried approaching them and they were so kind. We were able to talk to them and they were like telling stories about how they came there, Alvin's lunch, JM's baller ID, Mr.Bone's tattoos and Juni's noose neck tie. Good thing I understand English well because most of them were really English speakers. I was able to have my album signed by them and now it's my most precious property. I also saw other bands like Paramita, Franco, Urbandub, Kelevra, Blue Boy Bites Back and Miggy! It was the best night ever though I deprived of sleep. When I came home, I slept the whole day of course. The next day I surfed the net again. My jaw dropped when I found out that I also won on Blue Boy Bites Back's contest. If I only knew it, I would have let my classmate come with me. But still I felt so lucky because of that event.

Event#3-- Jack Daniel's the JD Set Tour Launch (August 19, 2011)

Printscreen of the JD page :]

I thought that would be the first and the last time I'll be attending a Jack Daniel's event but I don't think it is. The other night, as usual, I was surfing the net and I passed by the Jack Daniel's page again. There I saw another contest for the official launch of the event. I felt an adrenaline rush once again and I joined the contest. The only thing I have to do is to answer the trivia. It was hard so I Googled it. Fortunately, I found the answer. I waited for the night to end and for the results to come. Praise Google! I got it right and I won 2 tickets! I was screaming silently when I read my name on the list. I am so looking forward to see the bands again. And I really have to be there!

What's my poison? MUSIC.

The Masochist in Me (midterms)

The worst pain I've ever felt was not the time when my appendix ruptured but when I was tattooed.

Have you imagined yourself being pricked by a needle for a thousand times in a span of an hour or two? Well, I never imagined that I would experience that pain, not at my young age.

I love drawing since I was 4 but i never drew well. I just drew what I wanted, what I imagined. Those crooked lines turning into a see through house where you can see all the parts of the house. A weird-looking girl with a very long hair and very big eyes and an overdecorated dress just like a princess. Those were my typical drawings (and everyone else when they were kids). I started hating it when I went to high school. It was such a pain in the a** when a teacher asks us to draw something. I never even included crayons or any coloring material in my "Things-To-Buy-For-School" list. I can still remember when I melted all my brother's crayons and turned it into a colorful and deformed candle-like thing. I felt happier that when I tried drawing my sister's face. But I really felt too jealous whenever I saw my classmates' "ultra mega colorful drawings". That time, I was asking myself, "Am I the worst artist in class? Why do they put too much effort in it?". And so I hated drawing.

Things changed when I went to college. I thought drawing wouldn't be a very big deal for me but I was wrong. I suddenly got a total motivation from a very unexpected person.

March 2011, one of our major subjects asked us to conduct an interview to anyone we know. It was like creating your own TV show wherein you'll be showcasing an individual depending on your topic. And all I got in mind was TATTOO. I tried searching for local tattooists here in Batangas and luckily I was able to contact one, Mr. Dholan Marqueses of Exotic Ink.. I knew his shop ever since but I never had the guts to inquire about it until I had this opportunity to meet him personally in his shop. It was such a nice experience. I saw, for the first time, how tattooing was done and everything else about it. A sudden interest popped in my head and I was like, " Hey, I want to learn this stuff! I want to have one!". But I thought, it was too impossible. I hated drawing though I draw for my friends most of the times.But one of my very talkative classmate told him that I as good in drawing. I felt flattered of course but I never bragged about it. I really think I am an awful artist. I felt a sudden adrenaline rush when he said that he can teach me how to draw better and even tattooing. I was telling myself, "This is it! I'm gonna be a real tattooist!". That day, my passion for drawing rekindled similar to hell. Right then i started going to his shop every after classes though it's too far and I have to spend more that what I was suppose to spend. But it was all worth it because I can really see all the improvements in me. I never imagined that i would be able to draw anything that great. It's flattering whenever they introduce me to they customers or friends saying that I am a very good artist. And then I thought I should get one (tattoo). 

Then it was this typical day, I went to the shop after school. I grabbed my materials, pencils and my sketch pad and started drawing. I felt a bit bored so I stopped. For some weeks, Sir Dholan  together with another artist Valawiz was telling me that they wanted to ink my skin. I was hesitant, of course. I know my parents would get mad if they knew it. But that day was different, I suddenly thought of actually getting one because I can feel their boredom. There was no customer and they had nothing to do. So I volunteered myself to be their canvas. I felt nervous at first but I was already there and they were already preparing the materials. "No pain, no gain." I guess I really have to endure the pain just to see what a tattoo would look like on my so imperfect skin and besides, it’s for free. Then I heard the raging sound of the machine. The needle was already a few inches away from my skin and there I was, freezing to death because I was facing the mall's AC. The first cut was the most painful. It was like I was pricked by a thousand needles in just a second. All I could do was close my eyes, bite my lips or finger and hug the chair. it was painful yet there was this strange feeling. It was like a tingling sensation on my back. The more I think about the sensation, the less I feel the pain. It was as if my back got numbed due to the needles. I felt a bit proud when I saw the passers-by looking at me and saying, "Yung babae oh, nagpapa-tattoo." The pain was all worth it because I felt that I was a different person after the session. 

After having my first tattoo, I just felt the urge of getting another one. They were right, tattoos are addictive and I can already feel my hunger for ink. A month after, Sir Dholan called me and said that he wanted to redo my tattoo because he wanted it to look clean. He was just not satisfied with Valawiz’ work maybe. So I went to the shop that weekend. I can really feel the excitement in my bones knowing that I’m getting inked for the second time. My body was hungry of the pain and so I fed it with the ink. The pain was there for over an hour but I wasn’t nervous anymore. I know that the pain is endurable though I am just a girl. And feeling the pain for the second time is just the same as the first. I felt so proud of myself once again.

I was so proud of my tattoo though it’s just small. I would always want to wear shirts that would show the tattoo on my back. It was fun but the only problem was that my family doesn’t know anything about it. I don’t even want to show it to them because they would surely get mad at me. Of course, we all know that only few people think that tattoo is an art and most of the population would say that tattoo is just dirt on the skin. And my mom and dad surely think tattoo is dirt. So I tried hiding it to them by wearing round neck shirts at home. The hiding thing was successful for four months until I got hospitalized.

It was because of that futile organ, appendix, I was confined in the hospital for five days. The first day was just a series of test. But they were painful tests. They tested my blood, my insides, and my urine, almost everything in me. But I didn’t consider that as the problem. My problem was, “How am I going to change clothes? I need my mom’s help of course, but she would see my tattoo. What should I do??” I was already going gaga thinking about it. And then the time came. My mom said I should change clothes. I was hesitant but I really need to, or else I would stink. Plan A : untie my long hair so it would cover my back. The plan worked and she didn’t notice the tattoo. But then she suddenly put powder on my back and she saw my tattoo. I tried covering it with my hand but it was too late. I thought she would get mad at me but I was wrong. She just said, “Lagot ka sa tatay mo.” I felt relieved. At least my mom knows about it already. The only problem now is my dad and he is coming home this September. But I should remain calm. (Laughs) That’s the least I can do. The following day I got operated because of mu ruptured appendix. I was so nervous and I just kept on telling myself, “Hindi masakit. Mas masakit ang tattoo.” During the operation, I was liked overdosed with some kind of drug. It was the anesthesia that made me feel numb. I thought what if operations like this are just the same as the tattooing process, no anesthesia. That would be too morbid! Ha-ha! If I was able to endure the pain in tattoo, maybe I could also endure the pain in the real operation without anesthesia. *heck, I’m just kidding*

The week after the operation was the worst. Our TV was broken and my laptop wasn’t with me. My life at home was so dead. So I just thought of pulling some used papers from my sister’s drawer and try drawing something.  I started drawing again after almost two months of resting from it. It looked terrible. My hand didn’t cooperate well. I was back to the “worst artist” feeling again. I’m starting to miss the shop, the sound of the machine, the drawings and everything about tattoo. I felt the hunger for the ink once again and I thought it would be the best time to have another one. I was thinking of where to put the other one when I remembered my greatest problem: I cannot wear shorts because of the dark scar on my left leg. So I thought, I should have a tattoo on my left leg to cover the scars. And what a very good timing, my friend, Valawiz, told me that he’ll ink me for a very low price. I didn’t hesitate anymore and I agreed on it right away. I was ready to feel the pain once again.

It was two weeks after my operation and I managed to escape from our house to my boarding house so I could come over to Valawiz’ house. He’ll be doing the tattoo there. I was with a friend. I was so excited and I never thought of the pain. He started. I was a bit startled because the pain I felt was worse than the first and second time I had. It was as if he was drilling my bones with nails. The pain was extremely killing me. It was as if I was undergoing an operation without anesthesia. I wanted him to stop but he can’t. I just tried enduring the pain. I tried the “mind over matter thing” and it did work for a little while but it still hurts. The session lasted for two hours and my leg was totally swelling. After the session I had a hard time standing and walking. My leg was too heavy. I looked at my leg’s reflection in the mirror and it was awesome. I just didn’t mind the pain. I was mesmerized by the sight of my new tattoo. The pain was all worth it.

Now I am on the process of healing, the wound from my operation and my tattoo. I suddenly feel so stupid right now. I got hospitalized to remove the pain in my tummy but here I am seeking the pain from something else, tattoos. I guess the pains differ depending on where it comes from. The pain from a health condition is something you wouldn’t ask for more. But the pain from a work of art is something worthy to be felt. There’s this sense of satisfaction and pride. And when you have it you establish some sort of identity in your society. 

Tell me I am a masochist, tell me I am a rebel but it won't change a thing. There are really pains in life that are addictive.

Kuneho Prod: Batangas Hardcore

Batangas underground music scene won't be as loud as the mainstream if it weren't for those production teams who create events that would showcase the local talents.

July 30, 2011, Kuneho Production, a local production team in Batangas celebrated its 1st year through a one night gig and at the same time it was also an audition for Muziklaban Rock Challenge 2011. 

(Please don't tell my mom that I was there :] )

My cousin's band, Addareum, was one of the bands that played that night and of course, I have to be there. The venue was in J4 Greenhut Restobar in Malvar, Batangas. I went there earlier so I could prepare everything for the band for they said I was their Road Manager. So, I did what they said. I was a bit nervous because they do not know the place and it's their first time going there. So I kept on texting them to see if they were going the right way. It was raining really hard that night but i was still crossing my fingers, hoping that it would stop ven just for a while.

Some bands were already making their way through the dark path way of the bar but my cousin and his bandmates haven't arrived yet. As expected, the gig started very late (Filipino time). There were a total of 12 bands that were lined up for that night and we got slot number 4. Addareum came just in time the event started. We were a bit nervous because they were the only Laguna-based band in the line up and the rest are all homegrown Batanguenyos. We watched the first bands before them and they were really great. Their screams and growls will totally make your eardrums bleed if you are a noob in that kind of music. A friend of mine got a bit shocked because of all the noise she heard. I didn't know that it was her first time attending an event like that. She was really new to it and I told her that it is actually the norms in underground scene. 

Addareum singing their cover song from Love Me Butch, Hollywood Holiday

We went home right after Addareum played because it was already around 2 in the morning and we still have to head straight to Laguna. The event was great but not totally for the band. They felt that the hospitality wasn't that visible but to sum it up, they all did a great job. We should really thank production teams like Kuneho Prod because they unite those underground musicians to spread their message to the listeners especially to those who do not like their music.

REKRUT: Action-Packed Reality (comm9)

             It is really hard living in the suburbs of this country. The opportunities are very limited and when you’ve really got no choice left, you tend to be deceived by flowery words by those high ranking people. And this scenario is portrayed in the film “Rekrut”,a film by Danilo Gomez Anonuevo and  an official entry to last year’s (2010) Cinemalaya Film Festival.

            The movie tells a story about a group of young boys, portrayed by mostly mainstream actors (e.g. JM de Guzman, Emilio Garcia, Alwyn Uytingco and Dominic Roco), living in Mindanao. Earning money is really hard for guys like them because opportunities are too far to reach. This made them easily deceived by a military officer’s convincing powers. The hunger for money led them to be train as so-called “special force” without knowing the real reason behind everything they were doing. But all their hopes fell when slowly they discovered their mistake. They were not really supported by the government and it was just something planned by those corrupt officials for their own benefits.

           I actually never liked watching local military-oriented films. I just don’t find it very amusing. (I am talking about those mainstream movies.) They just won’t reach my expectations (or maybe it’s just because I love watching foreign films rather than local ones). I thought it would be a lousy one but I was wrong. The movie was action packed and yet it portrayed the real drama behind those guns held by those ordinary people seeking life’s sweetness through bloodshed.  It’s really heart-breaking when you know that people easily get fooled because of their lack of knowledge. And curse those wicked ones who take advantage of other’s weaknesses.