Tanduay Rhum Rockfest 5

October 14, 2011

It was my final examination week and there I was, standing in the middle of the crowd, screaming my lungs out for my favorite bands. I'm such a good student.

It was already in my mind, attending the event ever since I saw the poster in 711. I was not able to attend the last year's event because of my Logic exam. I was such a good student back then. Attending gigs was at the bottom of my TO-DO list. But this sem was different. I want to come so I did despite the schedule. 

THE TICKET

The tickets were only available at 711 or ministop outlets when you buy a bottle or three of Tanduay. I never bought liquor at 711/ministop because they would never believe that I am not a minor anymore. They would always ask my age and for my valid ID. Unfortunately, I don't have yet any ID that shows my birth date. I would always think of bringing my birth certificate with me if I would buy alcoholic drinks. But the night when we (Vhey and I) bought Tanduay was different. We weren't even asked of our age. Vhey brought her passport if in case they would ask our age. We were too lucky then.

THE TRIP

The day came. We did our morning rituals then went. Our first stop was Tanauan City. We have to meet Robert first. We rode the bus at 2:30 PM hoping that we could reach MOA by 4PM and do a little something before attending the event. Have mercy on the traffic jam. An accident occurred ahead of us. We got stranded for about 45 minutes. We came to the venue at around 5PM. We were still able to eat our dinner and meet some of Robert's friends. Then we went inside.

THE SHOW

The show was amazing though we were too far from the stage. The general admission area was like one ride away from the stage. I could barely see anyone from the stage. Good thing there were LCD monitors near us. The area was starting to get jam packed with rockers as time passed. The band line up was extremely great. There were young and old performers/bands. We were screaming at the back hoping that they would hear it from there. We were having fun. We drank. We danced. We sang. It was on hell of a night. Maybe if we were in the VIP area we would not be able to enjoy because that area is so secured and crowded. At the general admissions area, we can do anything, even PLANKING. 

Here are some of the photos from the events. Thanks to Sir Leo, Ms. Roxanne and Ms. Pablo for the photos.

NOT FOR GRADES SAKE

photo courtesy of von beredo

I know that thing blogging-thing is just a requirement for one of my major subjects. Sadly, I think I failed to maintain my blog posts. I actually told myself when I started this that I will be posting regularly (to get higher grades) but laziness devoured my senses. Ha-ha! I really can't write anything when I am not in the MOOD. I don't like writing for a different purpose. I want to write because I wanted to say something or there's an IDEA  trying to come out of my half-empty mind. It's just hard to force your mind to think of something to write when you really don't feel like writing. I've got loads of ideas to write but they just pop when I am AFK or somewhere I don't have a paper and a pen to write on. That's too ironic. And when I am holding my journal or here in front of the computer, I can't think of anything nor can I remember any of those suddenly-popping ideas. I can always remember the times when I'm riding on the bus and I suddenly think of the best story plot ever then when I went down, BOOM! I forgot everything.I know I am not the only one experiencing this but I just really pity myself for my  writing. I don't care anyway. I love and hate writing.

photo courtesy of von beredo

The Essence (Just An Opinion)

August 31, 2011 to September 5, 2011

That was a very long holiday for us non-sporting type of individuals.

Pistakasan.

This is the annual inter-college sporting event of Lyceum of the Philippines University-Batangas and this has been one of my most awaited events of the year or semester. I am not saying that I am so excited for it because I am an athlete but because I know that it will be another long holiday for me. And I can do anything I want. And I know it isn't right.

But, what is the real essence of Pistakasan?

It is said prior to the event that an annual intramural is held to build unity among students from different colleges through the various sports. Athletes during this season are really visible in every corner of the campus. While others are playing or preparing for a game, some roam around just to find a perfect spot to see their favorite athletes play.But how about those who are not athletes nor interested in the games? They would rather go to the mall, spend the day with someone else or go home, just like what I did. I have to admit that I didn't watch any game in the event except for the cheering competition. If it weren't for my friend who almost broke her bones for the dance. 

So, how was the cheer dance competition?

It was, as usual, predictable. What do we expect from Nursing group, CITHM group, and CBA group? They are always the one ruling the competition.  I actually feel pity on our own department, CEAS because we all know that in the very first place, we won't ever win against them, yet we still fight. I guess that is why we are called Warriors. Anyway, the stunts and exhibitions were astounding and really jaw-dropping. Obviously, the big departments really spent a lot of money just to provide all that they need to win. Some didn't spend too much because they already know they won't win. I guess that's life.

Where is the unity?

I can't see it. Unity is still missing. Students from different colleges have their own lives and they do not care about others. I guess Pistakasan is just really for fun in favor of the students. And for the professors, it is a big hindrance for their pending lessons. And for the school management? A waste of time and money.

How To Be a Super Villain (comm9)

 “It’s a bird!”

“No! It’s a plane!”

“No! It’s an angry bird!”

What do you expect? Another Superman dialogue? Why are you so deceived by those goody-two-shoes? They’re just nothing but a bunch of cowards who use the people’s favor to win over evil. Don’t you just hate them?  (Okay, I am getting too emotional.)

Superheroes won’t exist if there won’t be any super villains plotting wickedness everywhere. Thus, we must thank these super villains because if it weren’t for them, there won’t be any Superman, Spiderman, and Captain America. Good won’t exist if there is no evil. It’s called balance. But why is it that super villains are always the one defeated? Isn’t that unfair?

When super villains and heroes are created, they equally have their strengths and weaknesses. But, as always, the villain’s weakness will always be the one exposed. “And so Super Blah-Blah pawned Evil Too-Toot’s head to death. And they live happily ever after.”

In behalf of all the villains in this round lump of dirt (Earth), I am calling your attention villain wanna-be’s. We have to revenge for our late villains who sacrificed their lives for audience sake. I know we are all confused on how we will start. And here I have the ways on how to be a Super Villain version 2011.

1.       Save money.

There is no poor villain though there are some who looks as dirty as a rat but surely they have the bucks to pay their goonies to spread some scary stuff in the streets. You need money to buy spare parts for your weapons (unless you create them yourself). You need money to dress up as evil as possible. So start saving money.

2.       You don’t need a super power, just super ability.

Many super villains didn’t have super powers. Intelligence is the most important thing you must attain because it’s the first thing you need to take over the world. You need realistic skills not some fictional levitating powers. And there is no need to have a deadly deal with the devil.

3.       You must have a pet.

Villains are loners but they usually have their pets as companions. Cats are more favorable because of their wicked-looking eyes. Reptiles are also good. Just make sure you know how to handle them or else.

4.       Think of your evil laugh.

All villains have their signature laughs and you must have one too. They vary depending on the mood of the villain. But you must control it and still have some manners.

5.       Your evil name.

You must have a name that would surely frighten people. Think of a name that would make you more evil.  You can just add some words in you real name like “Ed the Wicked”  or  “Mark Master of Mayhem”. Just make it a bit stylish and rhyming so it would be easily remembered.

6.       Have a headquarters.

Villains don’t just live in a house; they always have one secret place where they plan all their wickedness and where they invent their weapons of destruction. They may live in a simple house but maybe underneath it is an underground lair. It may be far from your house like a cave or a wrecked old mansion. Just do not make it accessible to other people and don’t make it obvious.

7.       Prepare a speech.

Villains are known for their wicked monologues where in they reveal their plans but they usually start on where they came from or how their wickedness started. You may put some drama regarding your bitter childhood or about your failures.

8     Plot your evil plans.

You cannot just destroy the earth without any plan on how to do it. You must plan all your actions before doing it. You must know all the possibilities in your plan so you may predict what the hero would do. Thus you can prevent yourself from being shamefully defeated.

Now that you know the ways on how to be a super villain, why don’t you start with the first step so you may work with your evil plans as soon as possible? I know that saving the earth is cool but world domination is cooler.

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Kahit Wag Kang Maniwala (midterm)

Kailan ba nagiging abnormal ang isang tao? Kapag ba ibang-iba ka na sa mga tao sa paligid mo? Kapag ba kabaligtaran ng naiisip mo ang naiisip ng karamihan? O kapag nararanasan mo ang mga kakaibang bagay na hindi lahat nakakaranas?

Madalas kong maisip na abnormal ako.

Tuwing gabi, madalas kong isipin ang mga bagay na nangyari sa akin sa buong araw. Napaka normal pero laging mayroong kakaiba, mga pangyayaring hindi pangkaraniwan at madalas ay nakakapagtaka. At sa sobrang nakakapagtaka ay halos nakakatakot na ito kung tutuusin.

Naniniwala ka ba sa multo? Ako? Oo.

Nuong bata pa ako mahilig akong making sa mga matatanda sa amin kapag nag-uusap sila tungkol sa mga multo at aswang. Ako naman itong batang mahilig sumabat sa usapan kaya napapagalitan. Gustong-gusto ko noong makakita ng kahit isang multo man lang tapos masaya na ako. Akala ko magiging masaya nga ako kapag nakakita ako ng isa pero hindi pala, natakot talaga ako. Nasa loob ako ng aming banyo noon, hindi ko na maalala kung ano ang ginagawa ko noon basta nasa banyo ako. Siguro ay nasa bandang alas-seis iyon ng hapon at medyo may kadiliman na rina ng paligid. Takot ako noon na isarado ang pinto dahil mahirap itong buksan                                

kaya iniiwan ko itong bukas. Tanging ang ilaw lamang ng salas naming ang buhay kaya naman medyo madilim pa rin. Nag-mumuni-muni ako noon nang bigla akong napatingin sa harap ko. Kinilabutan ako nang makita kong may parang dumaang pares na paa na may telang puti. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kaya naman tinawag ko ang ate ko ngunit hindi sya sumasagot. Naglalaro pala sa labas. Hindi ko noon alam kung paano ako lalabas dahil baka nasa pinto lang yung nakita ko. Halos isang oras din akong hindi umalis sa banyo. Iyon ang unang beses na nagkita ako ng multo. Mula noon natakot na talaga ako.

Akala ko ay iyon na ang una at huli kong makakakita noon pero hindi pala. Naulit pa ito ng madaming beses sa iba’t ibang lugar pa. Natatakot pa rin ako pero habang tumatagal ay parang nawawala na rin ang takot ko. Marahil ay nasanay na rin. Madalas ay sa kapag nasa paaralan ako duon ako nagkikita o nakakaramdam ng kakaibang bagay. Nang tumuntong ako ng hayskul, mas madami pa akong naranasang kakaiba.

Noong unang taon ko sa hayskul, ugali ko nang pumasok ng maaga. Madalas ay isa ako sa mga unang taong dumadating sa iskul bukod sa mga nagtitinda sa kantina. Lagi akong dumadaan sa hagdan sa gilid ng gusali. Katabi ng gusali naming ay ang kwarto ng tagabantay ng iskul, si Tito Tony, kaya naman lagi ko siyang nakakabatian. Nang minsang dumaan ako doon ay nakita ko ulit si Tito Tony ngunit nakakapagtaka kasi puting-puti ang suot nya. Karaniwan niyang suot ay patong-patong na kulay brown na damit. Hindi ko na lang pinansin at naglakad na ako. Laking gulat ko nang makita ko si Tito Tony na nasa kabilang silid namin at nag-aayos ng mga kable ng electric fan at naka itim syang damit. Naakot ako dahil sigurado naman akong siya yung nakita ko. Ngumiti pa nga ako sa kanya at ngumiti din sya sa akin. Pero hindi pala si Tito Tony yun. Sino kaya sya? 

Parehong taon, may namatay na isang estudyante sa paaralan naming. Kilala ko sya dahil madalas ko syang makita sa hagdan sa gilid ng gusali namin. Madalas din kasi ako doon.  Siya si JE. Medyo nalugkot din ako sa pagkamatay nya. Dati ay tuwing umaga makikita ko syang dali-daling umaakyat pataas sa ikalawang palapag para humabol sa flag ceremony. Alam ko ang kulay ng Dickies nyang bag. May pula, itim at dilaw. Nung umagang nabalitaan namin na patay na siya ay nagulat ako dahil nakita ko syang tumatakbo ulit patungo sa silid nila. Sigurado akong sya iyon dahil kilala ko talaga ang hitsura nya. Kinilabutan ako at naiyak dahil nagpakita sya sa akin. Inikwento ko ito sa mga kaklase ko at maging sila ay natakot.  Mula nung araw na iyon ay halos ayaw ko nang sumama sa flag ceremony namin.

Nang tumuntong ako sa ikatlong taon ng sekondarya, nakaranas ulit akong magkita ng kakaiba. Sumali ako sa isang training noon. Isa akong kadete, parang military. May hawak kaming ripple at parang mga sundalo. Dapat kaming pumasok ng maaga dahil kami ang naglilinis ng paligid at naghahanda ng lahat. Nag-uunahan kami ng aking mga kasama sa pagpunta sa iskul. Madalas naman akong mauna. Madaling araw pa lamang ay nanduon na ako dahil sa kagustuhan kong mauna. At tuwing nauuna ako, madalas ay nakikita ko ang isang lalaking estudyante na nakatayo sa gilid ng estatwa ng birhen sa loob ng iskul. Kita ko ang polong puti niya. Kung hindi naman yung lalaki ay babaeng nakaputi ang aking nakikita. Madalas syang naglalakad sa ikalawang palapag ng gusali na para bang namamasyal lamang. Tuwing makikita ko sila ay pumipikit na lamang ako at kumakanta kahit wala akong maisip kantahin. Madalas kong gawin iyon pero itinigil ko iyon nang maranasan kong sabayan akong kumanta ng kung sinong hindi ko nakikita. Kumakanta ako noon ng kanta mula sa “Moulin Rouge”. Humihimig lang ako nang napansin ko na parang may naririnig na rin akong sumasabay sa akin. Nagmula ang tunog sa loob ng iskul. Natakot ako at tumigil. Tumigil din yung tunog. Buti na lang at isang taon ko lamang kailangang pumasok ng ganoon kaaga dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya kung sakaling may kasunod pa.

Napakarami pang sumunod at hindi ko na ata maiikwento lahat iyon. Basta ang alam ko ay totoo ang mga multo at mga espirito sa ating paligid. Hindi nga lang talaga lahat nakakaramdam at nakakakita. Pakiramdam ko ang malas ko dahil isa ako sa mga nakakaramdam kahit ayaw ko talaga.

Hindi lang iyan ang kakaiba kong karanasan.

Naranasan niyo na bang nahulaan ang hinaharap o maisip ang susunod na mangyayari nang hindi inaasahan? Ako, oo.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tawag sa nararanasan ko pero gusto ko ito. Ito yung parang naisip ko lang saglit tapos nangyayari agad. Parang pakiramdam ko ay isa akong manghuhula. Una ko itong naranasan nang tumuntong ako sa kolehiyo.

 Unang beses ko naranasan ito nung minsan na pauwi ako ng bahay galing sa iskul. Sumakay ako ng dyip at naghintay na mapuno. Karaniwan na ito sa akin dahil araw-arwa ko naman itong ginagawa. Umandar ang dyip at nagsimulang tumakbo ang aking imahinasyon. Nakakabagot talaga ang byahe tuwing hapon. Mayroon akong katabing isang babae tapos isang lalaking naka-corporate na damit. Mukha syang nagtatrabaho sa isang opisina. Bigla na lang sinabi ng isip ko,”Biglang papara itong lalaking ito dahil mayroon siyang nakalimutan. Bababa sya kahit nakabayad na siya at medyo may kalayuan na ang aming narating.”  Makalipas ang ilang saglit, bigla nga itong pumara at nagsabing may nakalimutan sya at kailangan na nyang bumaba kahit pa kaaalis lamang ng dyip. Nagulat ako sa aking narinig dahil iyon mismo ang mga baga na naisip ko. Di ko alam ang magiging reaksyon dahil parang kinabahan ako na medyo natuwa. Ano bang nangyari? Bakit nagkatotoo?

Naulit ito nang maaksidente ang aking tito. Malaki ang galit n gaming pamilya sa kanya kaya naman maging ako ay halos isumpa na sya sa kailaliman ng mundo.  Nung araw na iyon, bigla naming napag-usapan an gaming tito. Nanggagalaiti ako sag alit kaya naman nakapagbitaw ako ng mg di magandang bagay sa kanya. Sabi ko pa noon, “Hayaan nyo. Madidisgrasya siya ngayon. Baka nga mabangga pa truck nila.” Normal na sa amin ang ganuong usapan kapag ang tungkol sa tito ko kaya naman hindi na nila pinansin iyong mga sinabi ko. Kinabukasan nagulat kaming lahat nang mabalitaan naming na naaksidente ang truck na minamaneho ng tito ko sa may Cavite at kasalukuyang nasa ospital siya. Pinagtinginan ako nina ate noon kasi nagkatotoo ang aking sinabi. Masama man pero natuwa ako sa nangyari. Karma nya iyon marahil.

Madami pang nangyari pero ang pinakahuli ay nung kami ay mag-swimming sa Lobo noong bakasyon.  Wala kaming dalang sasakyan kaya naman bumiyahe na lamang kami. Nung kami ay pauwi na, sa terminal ng dyip, hindi kami pasakayin ng drayber dahil daw malapit lamang an gaming bababaan. Nakakainis dahil gustong-gusto na naming umuwi.  Siyam kami kaya daw luging-lugi siya sa bayad. Ang sama na ng pakiramdam naming dahil napakainit. Umupo kami at tinabihan ako ng aking kaklase. Sinabi ko sa kanya na galit na galit na ako sa drayber. Maging sila naman ay galit din. Bigla ko na lang nasambit , “Makikita nyo, maaaksidente ang dyip na iyan. Kung hindi man ay masisiraan sila sa daan.” Umalis ang dyip at mabuti na lamang dahil pinasakay kami ng sumunod na byahe. Habang nasa byahe ay nawala na ang masama kong naiisip tungkol sa naunang drayber. Masaya kasi ang byahe.  Nang malapit na kaming bumaba ay biglang tumigil ang dyip sa tapat ng isang nakatigil sad yip. Nasiraan ito ng gulong kaya naman naantala ang kanyang biyahe. Nagulat ako nang makita ko na iyon pala yung dyip na kinagagalitan ko. Tuwan-tuwa naman ako sa aking nakita. Pagkababa namin, humanga sa akin ang aking mga kaklase dahil sa aking sinabi.

Hindi ko alam kung isa ba akong manghuhula o tsumatsamba lamang talaga ako. Minsan nga natatakot na akong magisip o magbitaw ng salita dahil baka bigla na lamang itong magkatotoo. Mahirap na, baka may masama pa lalong mangyari. Pero gusto kong malaman kung isa ba talaga itong abilidad o talento. Kung isa itong talent, lubos kong ikatutuwa ito at hahasain ko pa ang sarili ko. Kahit pa sabihin nilang hindi ito normal o may sayad ako.

Marahil ay madaming hindi maiintindihan ang mga nangyayari sa akin. Malamang pa nga ay iniisip nila na isa akong masamang tao o kaya naman ay alagad ng demonyo. Taliwas kasi ito sa paniniwala ng higit na nakakalamang na relihiyon dito, ang Katolisismo. Madaming magsasabing isa akong sinungaling pero hindi ko na iintindihin iyon dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na totoo ito. Masaya naman ito. Abnormal? Baliw? O kahit ano pang itawag nila sa akin, tatanggapin ko. Masaya naman ako sa nararanasan ko dahil hindi ito pangkaraniwan. Pili lamang talaga marahil kaming may ganitong kakayahan.

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Lucky Me :3

I never felt too lucky in games of luck. I was always the hopeful one, crossing all my fingers thinking that my fingers would be able to manipulate the results. But I was always the wrong one. Wrong choice. Wrong instinct. Wrong timing. But not with TICKETS, specifically CONCERT TICKETS.

Event #1--Myx Mo 2009/2010

This annual event of the MYX music channel is one of my most anticipated events of the year. I always wait for updates about this event together with my friends who are also music lovers. Whenever this event is approaching I always tell myself that I am going to save money so I can buy tickets. But I never managed to save enough money. I know I am not so good in budgeting that's why I usually have problems with money. But things are favoring me whenever the event is getting near. I usually don't expect my mom to give me money for it but she did. So I was able to go to Manila and attend the event. But our usual problem was the ticket buying. Last 2009, it was like we were in Amazing Race. The tickets can only be bought in one store inside SM Mall of Asia. We all know how big MOA is. We ran as fast as we could because everyone else wanted to buy a VIP ticket. I almost dropped my heart and lungs while running. We've ran from building to building hoping that we'll find the store before anyone else does. Luckily, we found the store and we were able to buy the VIP tickets. All the hustle and bustle were all worth it because after buying the ticket, we got a chance to be in the very front line, so near to the stage. It was like a paradise in front of us though we were like sardines fried in hell.I was able to watch my idols live on stage. It was like I was dreaming and that they were performing just for me, only for me. That night I really felt so lucky despite of all the unfortunate events we had on our way.

Nash, Kean and I after Myx Mo event

Event#2-- Jack Daniel's the JD Set Reveal Night (April 15, 2011)

I consider that night as the luckiest night of my entire life. It wasn't just a simple gig watching but that night I was able to mingle with all the musicians in the event. It felt more like heaven though my legs were dying. I was the lucky girl who won the tickets for the exclusive show. I never expected that I'll be able to win invites for the show. I was just surfing the net and BOOM! I saw this event on the Facebook page. My favorite band was on the list that was why I eagerly joined the contests. There were 3 contests that I joined. The first one was a "photo-tagging contest" wherein I have to tag a certain number of friends in the photo and send the link to them. The second one was conducted by the fan page's admin, I have to rank my top 7 bands on their wall. The third one was conducted by the band Blue Boy Bites Back. They asked what our favorite song from their album was so I answered it (though I am not a very big fan of the band). Unexpectedly, I won on the second one and I got a ticket for two. I jumped my butt off my chair when I read a message from the page's admin. I was insanely telling myself, " OMFG! I won!! I have to be there!"  My mom who was right beside me was like startled with my actions. She said that I am over reacting. If I know, if that was a ticket for Piolo Pascual's concert, she'd probably be screaming her lungs out. I grabbed my phone and tried to contact my cousin Japz. He was the only one I wanted to come with and I was pretty sure that he knows the place. The day came and I was so excited that I even arrived to our meeting place an hour ahead. When he came we started our adventure. I thought he knew the venue but I was wrong! He didn't know the place either. So we started walking and tried looking for the place. And there we were, walking for almost two hours. We almost zipped the road of the entire Pasong Tamo until the Pasong Tamo Extension. We got it all wrong. We wallked the wrong way. We thought the venue was a bar but it was not. It was like a warehouse turned into a function hall. We both felt too stupid. We arrived just in time before the deadline. I felt relieved when I got the tickets.

Me, held captive by Mr. Bones

But what amazed me the most was I realized that I was surrounded by my idols, the musicians I look up to. They were just there beside us chatting, laughing and they were smiling at me whenever our eyes met. Then I just found myself actually chatting with them. it was as if we were good friends already. We were talking about music, the pizza, the Jack Daniel's, the Hurley-Davidson and everything else. The event started and I was so starstrucked when I found myself in a pool of artists. They were also there to watch the event and support the bands. Luckily, I was able to occupy the very front of the stage, as in I can almost grab their feet if I could. I was singing to the top of my lungs just like everyone else beside me. After the bands, we decided to go out to have some fresh air. Outside we saw my favorite band, Mr. Bones and the Boneyard Circus. We tried approaching them and they were so kind. We were able to talk to them and they were like telling stories about how they came there, Alvin's lunch, JM's baller ID, Mr.Bone's tattoos and Juni's noose neck tie. Good thing I understand English well because most of them were really English speakers. I was able to have my album signed by them and now it's my most precious property. I also saw other bands like Paramita, Franco, Urbandub, Kelevra, Blue Boy Bites Back and Miggy! It was the best night ever though I deprived of sleep. When I came home, I slept the whole day of course. The next day I surfed the net again. My jaw dropped when I found out that I also won on Blue Boy Bites Back's contest. If I only knew it, I would have let my classmate come with me. But still I felt so lucky because of that event.

Event#3-- Jack Daniel's the JD Set Tour Launch (August 19, 2011)

Printscreen of the JD page :]

I thought that would be the first and the last time I'll be attending a Jack Daniel's event but I don't think it is. The other night, as usual, I was surfing the net and I passed by the Jack Daniel's page again. There I saw another contest for the official launch of the event. I felt an adrenaline rush once again and I joined the contest. The only thing I have to do is to answer the trivia. It was hard so I Googled it. Fortunately, I found the answer. I waited for the night to end and for the results to come. Praise Google! I got it right and I won 2 tickets! I was screaming silently when I read my name on the list. I am so looking forward to see the bands again. And I really have to be there!

What's my poison? MUSIC.

The Masochist in Me (midterms)

The worst pain I've ever felt was not the time when my appendix ruptured but when I was tattooed.

Have you imagined yourself being pricked by a needle for a thousand times in a span of an hour or two? Well, I never imagined that I would experience that pain, not at my young age.

I love drawing since I was 4 but i never drew well. I just drew what I wanted, what I imagined. Those crooked lines turning into a see through house where you can see all the parts of the house. A weird-looking girl with a very long hair and very big eyes and an overdecorated dress just like a princess. Those were my typical drawings (and everyone else when they were kids). I started hating it when I went to high school. It was such a pain in the a** when a teacher asks us to draw something. I never even included crayons or any coloring material in my "Things-To-Buy-For-School" list. I can still remember when I melted all my brother's crayons and turned it into a colorful and deformed candle-like thing. I felt happier that when I tried drawing my sister's face. But I really felt too jealous whenever I saw my classmates' "ultra mega colorful drawings". That time, I was asking myself, "Am I the worst artist in class? Why do they put too much effort in it?". And so I hated drawing.

Things changed when I went to college. I thought drawing wouldn't be a very big deal for me but I was wrong. I suddenly got a total motivation from a very unexpected person.

March 2011, one of our major subjects asked us to conduct an interview to anyone we know. It was like creating your own TV show wherein you'll be showcasing an individual depending on your topic. And all I got in mind was TATTOO. I tried searching for local tattooists here in Batangas and luckily I was able to contact one, Mr. Dholan Marqueses of Exotic Ink.. I knew his shop ever since but I never had the guts to inquire about it until I had this opportunity to meet him personally in his shop. It was such a nice experience. I saw, for the first time, how tattooing was done and everything else about it. A sudden interest popped in my head and I was like, " Hey, I want to learn this stuff! I want to have one!". But I thought, it was too impossible. I hated drawing though I draw for my friends most of the times.But one of my very talkative classmate told him that I as good in drawing. I felt flattered of course but I never bragged about it. I really think I am an awful artist. I felt a sudden adrenaline rush when he said that he can teach me how to draw better and even tattooing. I was telling myself, "This is it! I'm gonna be a real tattooist!". That day, my passion for drawing rekindled similar to hell. Right then i started going to his shop every after classes though it's too far and I have to spend more that what I was suppose to spend. But it was all worth it because I can really see all the improvements in me. I never imagined that i would be able to draw anything that great. It's flattering whenever they introduce me to they customers or friends saying that I am a very good artist. And then I thought I should get one (tattoo). 

Then it was this typical day, I went to the shop after school. I grabbed my materials, pencils and my sketch pad and started drawing. I felt a bit bored so I stopped. For some weeks, Sir Dholan  together with another artist Valawiz was telling me that they wanted to ink my skin. I was hesitant, of course. I know my parents would get mad if they knew it. But that day was different, I suddenly thought of actually getting one because I can feel their boredom. There was no customer and they had nothing to do. So I volunteered myself to be their canvas. I felt nervous at first but I was already there and they were already preparing the materials. "No pain, no gain." I guess I really have to endure the pain just to see what a tattoo would look like on my so imperfect skin and besides, it’s for free. Then I heard the raging sound of the machine. The needle was already a few inches away from my skin and there I was, freezing to death because I was facing the mall's AC. The first cut was the most painful. It was like I was pricked by a thousand needles in just a second. All I could do was close my eyes, bite my lips or finger and hug the chair. it was painful yet there was this strange feeling. It was like a tingling sensation on my back. The more I think about the sensation, the less I feel the pain. It was as if my back got numbed due to the needles. I felt a bit proud when I saw the passers-by looking at me and saying, "Yung babae oh, nagpapa-tattoo." The pain was all worth it because I felt that I was a different person after the session. 

After having my first tattoo, I just felt the urge of getting another one. They were right, tattoos are addictive and I can already feel my hunger for ink. A month after, Sir Dholan called me and said that he wanted to redo my tattoo because he wanted it to look clean. He was just not satisfied with Valawiz’ work maybe. So I went to the shop that weekend. I can really feel the excitement in my bones knowing that I’m getting inked for the second time. My body was hungry of the pain and so I fed it with the ink. The pain was there for over an hour but I wasn’t nervous anymore. I know that the pain is endurable though I am just a girl. And feeling the pain for the second time is just the same as the first. I felt so proud of myself once again.

I was so proud of my tattoo though it’s just small. I would always want to wear shirts that would show the tattoo on my back. It was fun but the only problem was that my family doesn’t know anything about it. I don’t even want to show it to them because they would surely get mad at me. Of course, we all know that only few people think that tattoo is an art and most of the population would say that tattoo is just dirt on the skin. And my mom and dad surely think tattoo is dirt. So I tried hiding it to them by wearing round neck shirts at home. The hiding thing was successful for four months until I got hospitalized.

It was because of that futile organ, appendix, I was confined in the hospital for five days. The first day was just a series of test. But they were painful tests. They tested my blood, my insides, and my urine, almost everything in me. But I didn’t consider that as the problem. My problem was, “How am I going to change clothes? I need my mom’s help of course, but she would see my tattoo. What should I do??” I was already going gaga thinking about it. And then the time came. My mom said I should change clothes. I was hesitant but I really need to, or else I would stink. Plan A : untie my long hair so it would cover my back. The plan worked and she didn’t notice the tattoo. But then she suddenly put powder on my back and she saw my tattoo. I tried covering it with my hand but it was too late. I thought she would get mad at me but I was wrong. She just said, “Lagot ka sa tatay mo.” I felt relieved. At least my mom knows about it already. The only problem now is my dad and he is coming home this September. But I should remain calm. (Laughs) That’s the least I can do. The following day I got operated because of mu ruptured appendix. I was so nervous and I just kept on telling myself, “Hindi masakit. Mas masakit ang tattoo.” During the operation, I was liked overdosed with some kind of drug. It was the anesthesia that made me feel numb. I thought what if operations like this are just the same as the tattooing process, no anesthesia. That would be too morbid! Ha-ha! If I was able to endure the pain in tattoo, maybe I could also endure the pain in the real operation without anesthesia. *heck, I’m just kidding*

The week after the operation was the worst. Our TV was broken and my laptop wasn’t with me. My life at home was so dead. So I just thought of pulling some used papers from my sister’s drawer and try drawing something.  I started drawing again after almost two months of resting from it. It looked terrible. My hand didn’t cooperate well. I was back to the “worst artist” feeling again. I’m starting to miss the shop, the sound of the machine, the drawings and everything about tattoo. I felt the hunger for the ink once again and I thought it would be the best time to have another one. I was thinking of where to put the other one when I remembered my greatest problem: I cannot wear shorts because of the dark scar on my left leg. So I thought, I should have a tattoo on my left leg to cover the scars. And what a very good timing, my friend, Valawiz, told me that he’ll ink me for a very low price. I didn’t hesitate anymore and I agreed on it right away. I was ready to feel the pain once again.

It was two weeks after my operation and I managed to escape from our house to my boarding house so I could come over to Valawiz’ house. He’ll be doing the tattoo there. I was with a friend. I was so excited and I never thought of the pain. He started. I was a bit startled because the pain I felt was worse than the first and second time I had. It was as if he was drilling my bones with nails. The pain was extremely killing me. It was as if I was undergoing an operation without anesthesia. I wanted him to stop but he can’t. I just tried enduring the pain. I tried the “mind over matter thing” and it did work for a little while but it still hurts. The session lasted for two hours and my leg was totally swelling. After the session I had a hard time standing and walking. My leg was too heavy. I looked at my leg’s reflection in the mirror and it was awesome. I just didn’t mind the pain. I was mesmerized by the sight of my new tattoo. The pain was all worth it.

Now I am on the process of healing, the wound from my operation and my tattoo. I suddenly feel so stupid right now. I got hospitalized to remove the pain in my tummy but here I am seeking the pain from something else, tattoos. I guess the pains differ depending on where it comes from. The pain from a health condition is something you wouldn’t ask for more. But the pain from a work of art is something worthy to be felt. There’s this sense of satisfaction and pride. And when you have it you establish some sort of identity in your society. 

Tell me I am a masochist, tell me I am a rebel but it won't change a thing. There are really pains in life that are addictive.